Setting Boundaries - Saying “NO”

Are you someone who gives too much and have nothing left for yourself? Do some of your relationships stress you out more than others. Do you struggle to say “no”? Do you feel exhausted after interacting with specific people? Are you a person who puts others need over your own? If so, setting boundaries may be great to practice to start prioritizing yourself and your mental health. Oftentimes, we overextend ourselves to please others, and this can be exhausting. If this is you, set more boundaries. A great place to start is to determine why these individuals drain your energy. Then, figure out what boundaries need to be put in place and how you can do so in an assertive way. Remember: being assertive is just you confidently and directly advocating your needs while also respecting the needs and feelings of others. Here a few simple ways you can start practicing setting boundaries:

• Use “I” statements. This can soften the “no” or boundary. This allows you to focus on communicating your needs and feelings while also avoiding saying any negative things about that person or using blame. For example, you can say “I feel uncomfortable when you….”. This can decrease the chances of the other person feeling attacked while also allowing you to comfortably set healthy, personal boundaries.

• Use assertive, direct language. No sugar coating or dancing around the subject. Say exactly what you need or want with a serious tone. This makes it clear that you mean what you are saying and strictly enforcing the boundary.

• Remembering that “No” is a full sentence. Everything does not need an explanation.

Setting boundaries is not mean, but necessary and required. The people around you should respect your boundaries if they care about you. Unfortunately, sometimes setting boundaries can also mean losing people who continue to overstep. Either way, you advocated for yourself and will intentionally create a circle of respect around you, even if it was a tough process. Good luck!